I sat there, holding my head in my hands and cried.
I still couldn’t face the enormity of what I had chosen to do. The people I had let down, the shame of being classed as a failure, the damage I had caused to my relationships, physical and mental health.
I was a failure.
The business I had grown from nothing was dead.
I was a failure.
I sat there holding my head in my hands and cried.
Then, funnily enough I felt a sense of overwhelming relief. Ok, so there were going to be repercussions but I still had things to be grateful for; I still had things in my life that were good.
I was grateful that Josie didn’t give a shit how “successful” I was, she just wanted to see my smile and for me to laugh with her.
I was grateful for friends who had stepped up in my hour of need and grateful for new friends soon to be discovered.
I was grateful that I wasn’t depressed (that would come later) and I was still healthier and fitter than the average bear.
I was grateful for conversations on a bridge in Birmingham (you know who you are) and grateful that people valued me.
I was grateful that I had parents who loved me and just wanted me to be happy.
That day was the 13th December 2013, two years ago yesterday and whilst it was one of, if not the most challenging day of my business life, it was also the day that changed everything for me personally.
I got in the car and went to a mindfulness retreat I had booked a week or so earlier and that evening I met a wonderful person called Kay.
Neither of us was “ready” or looking for anything but sometimes, stuff is inevitable.
Two years on and I write this in our beautiful home amongst beautiful countryside and everyday I’m grateful for everything Kay has added to my life. I’m also grateful for lots of other things two years on from that day.
I’m enjoying a business, helping people and making a difference, I’ve grown as a person, I’ve overcome fear; I’ve made new friends and made a new life.
I’ve proved to myself that it’s possible to bounce back, grow a new business from scratch and that I do have value.
I’m also grateful for the support I’ve had from my Mastermind group, my peers and the Entrepreneurs Circle family. You can’t do these things on your own, so don’t try to.
I make a point of being grateful, every day now. It’s too easy to just go through life and complain about all the tough things you’re facing. It’s too easy to find fault, to say “I wish”; to say “I can’t”.
Being grateful is a fabulous reminder of how far you have come, of the things you do have. It’s amazing to just read back over the things you write down that you’re grateful for.
The big things, the mini successes, well they get written onto a Prosecco cork and put into a jar.
I write down the little things in my diary, everyday.
I’d encourage you to be grateful because it does make a difference. I’d also like to help you with this.
Now, I don’t normally do this but it’s something that has had such an impact on my life I wanted to share it with you.
I’ve teamed up with a friend of mine and twisted her arm to give you a discount on her Gratitude Journals. I get nothing for this. There’s no referral, no joint venture, no hidden percentages in it for me.
Call it a very small Christmas present in the hope that being grateful is as strong for you as it is for me.
The website is www.inspiringjournals.com
The code you need is a bit embarrassing (I didn’t choose it) ashspecial20 and gives you 20% off.
Take advantage, they make great presents for clients or friends or for yourself maybe!
Enjoy – and thank you for taking the time to read this and my other posts, thank you for the feedback, comments and shares. I am still surprised and humbled every time you take time out to do that! I truly am grateful!