What is self talk?

I was thinking yesterday, whilst practicing a few golf swings in the garden, about my self-talk.

What I mean is, I found myself telling myself off (read abusing myself) every time my swing wasn’t quite right.

“that was rubbish, Ash”

“Ash, you’re an idiot”

“FFS Ash, sort it out”

When I’m on the course, trust me, it can be a hell of a lot worse.  It’s probably a good thing that I can’t play at present because the amount of self-flagellation would possibly be off the scale!


Listen to your friends

This was brought home to me later during a lovely conversation with John Thompson, a great friend of mine (yes, that’s you John, if you’re reading this) about being hard on yourself.

We’re both people who give ourselves a hard time.  I have standards and hate it when I don’t meet them.  I’m finding myself more and more in a frame of mind where I’m beating myself up instead of saying

“that was good, Ash, what could be better?”

“decent effort Ash”

“next time, Ash”

We laughed about how we would react if one of us spoke to the other like this on the golf course after hitting a bad shot – imagine me saying to my playing partner after he misses a putt

“well, that was shit, John”

“FFS John, how could you miss that?”

We don’t do we.

We don’t treat others with the same aggression, disdain, and lack of self-respect as we do ourselves. And, with fewer people to talk to, and being isolated, it’s maybe becoming easier to talk down to ourselves.

Be kind to yourself

It was a sobering moment.  That perhaps it would be a useful thing, a healthy thing, a positive thing if I started talking to myself as I would to my playing partners…

With sympathy

With kindness

With support

With encouragement

Just a thought…

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